Lyrics

We hear Hulk Hogan sued
'Cause Gawker showed him nude
And why won't Apple try
To help the FBI?
And who can tell us when
Or if Deflategate ends?
For answers we must find
A brilliant legal mind

Who knows? Not me.
I never studied law.
We're on the line
With the smartest man in town.

Parody of "The Man Who Sold the World"