Lyrics

Credit for this idea goes to this @thisshirtstinks, who tweeted the t-shirt for this before there was jingle (https://twitter.com/ThisShirtStinks/status/725119792387076096). Had to fight through a bit of a cold/sinus deal with this one. Thanks to Jason Fuse for the cameo and providing feedback.


LYRICS:

(Yeah, the news is here now, and you know it’s comin’)

Straight outta Scott Linn
If you listen in to him deliver news
He will make all the Littles say, “Kippy who?”
No under armour but he’s got the HeatGear®
Cause a George Michael sweater’s on the scene here

The News Machine here with the best words
And a voice that can make a wolverine purr
His dulcet intonations and inflections
Has colleagues in his profession genuflectin’

Escaped monkeys? He’s gotcha
He’ll shoot every story down like Cha Cha
You’ll love his chestnuts like flakka
Like a bushbaby tip that came to yo’ momma

Is yo’ mom a prostitute?
He don’t need to ask, he’s got the news
And he’ll spray the headlines out right
Not Chessie, but he’s got the sound bites

He won’t laugh at Darwin Award contestants
He is the newsman natural selection
His verbalizations bring the next evolution in
Scott Linn, a pro elocutionist

Does he watch the NAM? Not Scott Linn
Cause the NAM and GFS watch him
The Lusby coroner said Beatrice’s cause of death:
(“A killer new voice made her faint and out of breath”)

So when he fires stories, you better duck
He’ll leave former newsmen dead to us
Hits the kicker like Hopkins, the mic he’s droppin’
Cause when it’s news time, boy
It’s comin’ straight outta Scott Linn