Lyrics

Oh oh, wah, oh oh...
News anchor, news anchor, I'm drinking red wine.
Wendy Rieger, [I] tried to stay on Eastern time.
I'm such a fool, for letting Nigel do the news.

News anchor, news anchor, I wanted a sandwich.
The Subway trailer, closed up and vanished.
I'm just a fool, with nothing but Sun Chips for lunch.

I fell for you, and I knew, you'd never want a bald orange man.
And now I fear I won't make it home, dear,
without some extra Ativan.

Oh, oh...