Ya Gotta Draft Chance King - Featuring Kjerstin Ohnstad

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A parody of a song by ABBA.
A Collaboration by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA & Kj Ohnstad in Minnesota
Recorded: 05/10/2015  Released: 05/10/2015  First aired: 06/08/2015

Lyrics

When you’re on the clock, and you need a hitting savant
You should want your team to draft Chance King
He’s got a cannon arm and he’ll steal third base
The scouts all say he’s the next Willie Mays

And when he’s on the mound, striking everyone out
Are you hallucinating? Is that Koufax pitching?
He could lead the league in wins and RBI
He’s a Chuck Bednarik-ish kind of guy
You gotta draft Chance King
Was Little League MVP

His physics teacher, says he’s the next Hawking, solving dark matter (solving dark matter)
A likely Nobel Laureate, Large Hadron Collider, after playing baseball (after playing baseball)
And you know he made a
Finger painting of a cockatoo
They want to hang it in the Louvre
It’s Monochromatic
He once wrote a villanelle
For this beautiful girl Michelle
He was crushing on
She said yes to prom

When the weekend comes, and his homework’s done
For the blind, he reads, and for the elderly
He has no gluttony or sloth or pride
It wouldn’t be a shock to see him Canonized

At the end of day, he lies in bed and prays
For the middle east, for the rocks and trees
For his mom’s tomato plants and his brother’s toad
He prays for the success of his dad’s Hulu show

He’s the perfect son
(Robitussan, HELLO!)
His dad is 81

Comments

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  • Damien in Sydney Australia
    I'm used to the standard of the jingles being really high, but this one is next level. Between the clever lyrics and the vocals make it so catchy, my colleagues are wondering why I'm humming ABBA around the office
    3240 days ago.
  • Kj in MN in St. Paul, MN
    Thanks, everyone! As I said on The Twitter, when the idea and lyrics are this good, how could I say no? This was one was such a blast! Thanks, Rob!
    3251 days ago.
  • John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
    So great that this one got the airtime it deserved. Such great inside stuff in the writing, Rob, and one of your best vocals, Kjerstin - and THAT is a high bar, indeed!
    3251 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    you know what you should be in awe of? you somehow made a jingle about foot shavings, which initially made me kind of sick, and because it was so well written i eventually got hooked on it, downloaded it, and listen to it in the car on my TK Jingles playlist. not easy to do. still repulsive, but SO catchy.
    3252 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    I'm often jealous of the rest of youse, but I'm not regularly in awe. But this one . . .
    3252 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    KJ helped out on this one a lot by reworking some phrases and making it flow a lot better. and again, I just think her vocals on this are absolutely superb.
    3252 days ago.
  • John in Arlington
    In my top 5 favorite jingles. I doubled over in laughter. Brilliant lyrics and Kjerstin was her usual awesomeness.
    3252 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Four weeks later . . . Boom!
    3252 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Tony Loves Robert Berg!
    3252 days ago.
  • Anita
    Omg. So funny.
    3255 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    Hopefully all the choking, both Cap and milk related, only delayed this one being aired by a few days... it's really great.
    3276 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
    Hope springs eternal! Nigel has the attention span of a Nat, I mean gnat. It could happen whenever.
    3276 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    a shame. was hoping this would air because it was a masterful performance by KJ. still, she got a shout-out so that's something.
    3276 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    For sure. And worthy of being advertised in advance.
    3278 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
    Coming your way tomorrow . . .
    3278 days ago.
  • Kj in MN in St. Paul, MN
    Thanks to Rob for asking me to sing this one! This was a lot of fun. So many good lines here...finger painting of a cockatoo, she said yes to prom, and he prays for his brother's toad are my faves. Nice job, Rob!
    3279 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    Amazing all around. I hope you guys have already started looking for more Abba to collaborate on. This recent run of Larry King related songs has been really enjoyable.
    3280 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    Brad, when she sent back the vocals I was laughing listening to them because she just absolutely killed it. I couldn't believe it, and I already HAD great expectations.
    3280 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
    Has anyone seen the mic that just fell off the stage?Hello, where's the mic?! Isn't it great when Kj knocks one out of the park for ya? See how I did that. Kudos.
    3281 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Holy Mother of Disco Ball Sweetness Batman!
    3281 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    in case anyone was wondering, and how could you not, the BGVs in the first section are "Take a Chance" and "Draft Chance" and in the second pass they are "Saint Chance Saint Chance consecrate a Chance Chance."
    3281 days ago.