Lyrics

I know a guy who's bald and speaks

Come by after nine and he'll be asleep.

Can't chop wood for the winter fire.

Can't fix a pipe, can't change a tire.

Because he's not handy
Tony's not handy

Went to see him when the sun went down

Ain't no finer plumber in town

Don't buy him a tool belt - no need to order

His table is sitting in basement water

Because he's not handy.
Tony's not handy.