Lyrics

I tried everything
comb-overs and medicine
nothing worked and my head’s still bare
God, I want
some hair

People stare at me
but not because I’m on TV
I’m wicked bald so there’s quite a glare
It's hereditary
Life's not fair

Dismay!
Despair!

Think of the life I’d be living
if medical science could give me
some hair

Maybe there's hope for me
Look at LeBron & Wayne Rooney
I'm sure it's expensive but I don’t care
send a bill I’ll sign anywhere
Some day
I’ll buy
Some hair!

A parody of West Side Story, “Somewhere"