Lyrics

I owe a debt to Mr. Scott Anthony, who recorded a jingle called "Pizza Dancer" back in May. When I saw his jingle, I assumed he was parodying Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" and started laughing immediately at how stupid that chorus must sound. It turned out that he'd actually done a really great Tina Turner jingle. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to get the Elton John idea out of my head and I just kept coming back to it. So now we have this nonsense.

We bought Chatter, what a disaster,
sinking deeper in quicksand
Removed some tables back in April,
we thought the dinner crowd might prefer to stand

Our breakfast schedule is confidential,
that’s all part of our business plan
We’ll solve this crisis by raising prices,
try the sausage sandwich, it’s only fourteen grand

And right now I feel so dumb
Bleeding out a hefty sum
There’s only one man who can save me
spinning, dancing, like crazy

Spin your arrow pizza dancer
Get the tourists looking our way
Somersault through lanes of traffic
Earn five bucks of hazard pay

Spin your arrow pizza dancer
in the hot sun 12 hours a day
throwing coupons for the fish platter
helping all the Littles save

A parody of Elton John, “Tiny Dancer"