Lyrics

You'll never go to Assateague with pals
to see the little ponies
You won't be seen at Golden Corral
with Alan Bubes your one and only
but you'll pass out on a plane
'cause you're only Tony
you'll text your kid when it rains
yeah you're only Tony

When you were fired from writing columnettes
it hurt your little feelings
and when you're on the Bay Bridge we can bet
the other drivers can hear you squealing
you're old and bald and so gruff
yeah you're only Tony
but you'll still beg for free stuff
because you're only Tony....(you're only Tony)

Lyrics/Vocals by Joe Aro
Parody of "You're Only Lonely" by John David Souther