Lyrics

Hey, there's some turn-around stuff in here. Eat it, Lipton! That sounds like an add for soup . . .


Once I was 80 years old, my children told me
If you have to send a text don’t sign it Tony
Once I was 80 years old

I kilt on radio, but thought I might get bigger
By pushing underwear, “the seatgeak,”and Blue Apron dinners
But at the sink still eat ice cream with Calvert Woodley liquors
So bloody rich I went and bought the house next door, go figure

I was 87 years old, my children told me
Go check yourself into assisted living
I was 87 years old

It didn’t start this way, Newsday gave me my first chance
And soon I moved to Washington my columnettes a big smash
And though my fingers will not type I still can launch a podcast
Dan Snyder no longer employs so now I’m back for less cash

Soon I’ll be 90 years old, my schtick has grown cold
If it weren’t for Alan Bubes I’d be lonely
Soon I’ll be 90 years old!!

first by Lukas Graham