Lyrics

If someone weren't on the world's most indulgent hiatus I imagine we would never be hearing the end of this story. Ryan Lochte is the new Dwight Howard!


They came from Club France driving across Rio
Four guys from the pool who’ll see
That it’s hard to urinate
When you’re so inebriated
One pulls down a door
Then punches a sign
Then they invent a tale
Never really sure what they wanted to say
Still Lochte told his mom
What never really was!

He misremembered that night
Then over-exaggerated more than twice

When his lawyers wrote his apology
Anyone who read it had to know
He’s quite an asshole

When a fool deceives you’ll see
That twice he told Matt Lauer ridiculous claims
It’s clear that he
Has spent too long in the chlorine
In chlorine too long

When a fool deceives you’ll see
(I believe that I’ve been traumatized)
That twice he told Matt Lauer ridiculous claims
(What am I speaking Portuguese?)
(Look at me dancing on TV)


Was this by the Doobie Bros or Michael McDonald? Oh well, 1979 was a fine year