Lyrics

I'm legitimately upset that Kevin is leaving the show.


I never knew
Anyone respected whatever it is you do
Beyond collecting Under Armour ties and suits
And hungrily consuming grim obituaries
Now you’re dead to me
Until I need a salt deposit from your progeny
Or get the weather reports from Henry
Who’s carving notches on his new bedpost in Lusby

Kevin is leaving and
I’m full of dread
Losing my newsman
Santangelo thinks this guy’s
The best journalist
Since Walt Cronkite

That Jet Pack dude
It’ll probably be a while ‘til he can chew his food
Drinking potato salad through a tube
And Kevin’s laughing so hard that he’s really crying
Here’s a coupon
To the Golden Corral at the Boulevard
Oh wait, this is an ad, I’m a moron
I forget, what was the vital point that I was making?

Everyone knows I have
The attention span
Of a braindead clam
Who plays Superman in real life?
And what’s the deal
With Next Day blinds?