Lyrics

Dork alert: I'm sitting in on the show on Friday! Very excited about this. I think they have to play something by me, right? Isn't that how it works? So this is the tune I picked. An absurd amount of work went into this, and I want to thank Jason, KJ, and Luke for the hundreds of emails we traded the last 2 months about different songs and ideas. These 3 are saints.



Vocoder:
He spams his son’s phone every time it starts to rain (He’s Bald)
He advocates vote anyone but Obenshein
 
Tony Kornheiser (He’s Bald)
Tony Kornheiser (Stinks at Golf)
 
From the greens of Bel-Air, back to The Palm
Apoplectic behind moose cans with a dozen coupons
Despite Jeanne’s moralizing he’s undeterred
With Michelle Tafoya as a messenger bird
Wallowing wallowing wallowing wallowing, when he gets it right
“I believe I had that” he screams with delight
But much to Matt Kelliher’s chagrin
When PTI’s on The Deuce Satch is mailing it in
It's like that and like a true plutocrat (Where’s my contract?!)
He never hesitates to call Lewis Schreck a hack
(In the Tuesdays I’m Laurie manuscript
He’ll rip as many people as 300 pages permits)
What's his motherf**king name?
 
Tony Kornheiser
Tony Kornheiser (He’s Bald)
 
He knows what the
Monroe Doctrine is