Lyrics

Each day I wake up, at a quarter after three

and I can’t fall back asleep even though I try

So then I give up, and then I get up to see

I’m gonna see if there’s a paper in my drive

Then I check my trash can, well there better not be

there better not be crap that wasn’t there before

‘cause I’ll get angry, then you know I'm gonna go,

I'm gonna go wandering knocking door to door




And I will act nice and polite

even though I want to go to war

What kind of neighbor would touch my can

so I ask, Is your mother a whore?




Watch the Nats game, well you I know I’m gonna see,

I’m gonna see if Kenny Rogers is sittin’ next to Chris

And what’s Chris drinking? Wow, I think that it’s merlot

and on second thought that might be Leonsis

If it starts raining, yeah you know I’m gonna call,

I’m gonna call to see if Michael is seeing rain

And in five minutes, I’ll call my son again

yes, I’ll call him again I’ll call again and again and again




And then I'll drive a couple miles

And if it seems to no longer pour

I’ll call my son another time

Hey Michael, why do you sound so bored?




cha-putz-vah, cha-putz-vah, cha-putz-vah, cha-putz-vah,

is-that-what-it-takes-to-put-your-trash-with-mine

cha-putz-vah, cha-putz-vah, cha-putz-vah, cha-putz-vah,

I-like-to-call-about-the-rain-so-many-times