Lyrics

Steve Lipton originally mentioned this idea as a Schvitz song to me. I came up with the idea for a TK jingle with the same song later, and thought it would be great to have a schvitz break that transitioned into the exact same song.

LYRICS:
If you’re sweating all your problems
I feel bad for you schlub
I got 99 problems but the Schvitz ain't one

I got acrid flows out my vacuoles
Billows of steam hittin' all my active pores
Gland lactations with my pack of bros
And you know every man in this bath has disrobed
Saw a waiter through the vapor and he lacks some clothes
His adipose makes me crave casseroles
But nothing beats a slab of meat, yo, that’s for sure
Ordered a t-bone hors d’oeuvres then I asked for more
In the buff, watching the Cavs win the Championship
Chest bumps and towel slaps to celebrate our win
A little later in walks JR Smith
To the bar slash sauna, asks for some beef tips
Dropped his shirt on the floor, hasn't needed it since
Then he came back quick for another steak and a schvitz
Immediately after the parade was done
I got 99 problems but the Schvitz ain't one
Strip me

99 problems but the Schvitz ain't one
If you ain’t sweating out your problems
I feel bad for you schlub
I got 99 problems but the Schvitz ain't one