Lyrics

Just the other night
on a Tuesday PTI
Mike and I were talking
to an athlete to kill time

And as I interviewed him
my thoughts began to drift
to the life that I had pictured
when I was just a kid

I wasn’t good at sports and I really stunk at math
I was bald by my bar mitzvah so my modeling career was scrapped
So I thought, “Maybe I'll try writing and then see where that leads
Maybe newspapers or radio or TV"

And now I thank God
that I lost my hair
I’m as bald as I wanna be
and I’m a millionaire
Would I trade it all to make out with Rieger - well, let’s not go there
I’m incredibly rich ‘cause I lost my hair

A parody of Garth Brooks, “Unanswered Prayers"