Window Nation (Rhythm Nation)

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A parody of a song by Janet Jackson.
Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 09/02/2015  Released: 09/02/2015  First aired: unaired

Lyrics

This new sponsorship of the studios is idiotic and emblematic of everything I hate about marketing. I tried to write something that bites a little harder than this but it would probably never make it to air.


Bagel City by their side
Somewhere on Rockville Pike
Nigel's only said that address
About 3000 times
Then he communicates
As Tone patiently waits
The Platonic Form of the room they're sitting in
Has been bought and paid for

People of the Pane remit
"For the studio: because it's where you transmit."
The studio's sponsored by Window Nation
People of the Pane wear frowns
In the fall, cause they root for the Cleveland Browns
The studio's sponsored by Window Nation

This microphone
Brought to you by Auto Zone
They can lend a hand
When your run-flat tire's awfully low
Nigel's copy's getting worse
It has to be rewritten
Him write good English
Him make nouns and verbs into a sentence

People of the Pane, we espouse
Asking for Harley, Aaron might rip your lungs out
The studio's sponsored by Window Nation
People of the Pane keep the cool air in
What's the deal with Tristan Thompson?
The studio's sponsored by Window Nation

Comments

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  • Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
    People of the Pane, so good. John-taking shots at Janet! Have you seen her dance with that chair though?
    3164 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    i wish i shared your optimism but i'm not sure i can handle hearing "the window nation studios" 400 times. can we get a kickstarter going to shut that down? i'm going to drive into oncoming traffic at some point.
    3179 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    I have a good feeling about this Kornheiser season. It's only Thursday!
    3179 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    Thanks, Kyle. I mostly start with the assumption that each song is not getting on air anyway because there are too many people writing great jingles to get more than 1 a month unless there's room for extras like the jingle purge or an occasional jingle segment. so the real audience is everyone that comes to this site, plus, the sad fact is that I don't really care for TKs favorite artists. specifically I find The Beach Boys an absolute sonic abomination. no offense to anyone who likes them.
    3179 days ago.
  • Kyle H. in Merced, CA
    This is awesome! I never feel brave enough to try stuff outside of Tony's old guy tastes. Bravo, Rob.
    3179 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    I've actually never played any of those. The way I am, I'd be completely broke in about a month if I got into it.
    3179 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    speaking of draftkings, i'm tempted to play DFS this football season and i think it could be a bad idea. i've played fantasy football for 15 years now and made a profit every single year, but i don't want to become a degenerate like pete rose. however i would love to pay off my student loans before i die. have you played any DFS? and if so, how much of your RAM does it take up?
    3179 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    Very nice. Love the second verse especially. (This post sponsored by DraftKings.com. DraftKings.com - Be the Pete Rose of Fantasy Baseball.)
    3179 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Fierce! I can see your nipple on News Channel 8...
    3180 days ago.
  • John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
    The "Lost to the Giants Again" that aired was actually my second try. I sent a version of it in last Sept after the first loss to the G-Men. I just emailed it to you. I figure it could dislodge the other version from your head. You're welcome.
    3180 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    I always try to compensate for my shortcomings with exuberance. btw, I can't get Lost to the Giants Again out of my head. it's been weeks. i'm not blaming you specifically, but if you have any remedies you'd recommend...maybe the song where they lost to the eagles.
    3180 days ago.
  • John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
    Rob, you put more melody in that vocal than Janet did in the original, nice! Harley's gonna love it. Aaron? Don't ask...
    3180 days ago.