Lyrics

Priscilla Delmaro hung up a shingle
she was looking for an easy mark
some imbecile with a lot of cash
who couldn't see a clear canard
in walked the perfect specimen
he worked for a marketing firm
with several hundred thousand in the bank
and a heart that desperately yearned
she said "you know what your problem is?
there's a poltergeist following you
what I'd recommend is a simple cleanse
of hemp milk and kale juice
but on second thought this evil's hot
and if I'm gonna lend a hand
I need a big fat sparkling rock on my finger
that's something a demon can't stand"

the man said "I might have bad judgment
but what you're saying makes total sense
so I'll write that check surely I won't regret
all the counterevidence"

marketing guy you're in good hands with Priscilla at the helm
'cause spirits get confused by precious metals in the other realm
and Michelle is worth most any price, this demon she'll cajole
as it ambles over an 80-mile bridge of gold

well Priscilla claimed "I'm sad to say
our structure came up short
but another 10 miles and a bit guile
and maybe he'll comport
but we also have a couple other options
that could turn the tide
a faux funeral or a time machine proxy
could save your future bride"

when Priscilla finished pitching him
the marketing guy quietly said
I just checked her Facebook page
and it seems Michelle is dead

she said "don't hang your head, marketing guy
her body may be cold but her soul's alive
another twenty grand and we can raise the dead
and put Michelle in another woman's body instead"