Lyrics

It turns out the hardest thing in the universe is being more self-aggrandizing than
Bryce Harper. Think about that one.
---

I’m crying cuz it’s so . . . Hilarious!

Now Scherzer’s on the team
It’s stupid don’t you think?
So just bring me my ring . . . Hilarious

Folks have said of me
I’m prone to injury
It’s only both my knees . . . Hilarious

I will hoist trophies all over Washington
This will be the third or fourth that I have won, and I’m not done

I’m still the MVP
And Mike Rizzo loves me
Until free agency . . . Hilarious! (Oh oh oh)

Hilarious (Ooh ee ooh ooh)
Hilarious (Bla bla bla bla bla bla)

After "Misery" by The Beatles